JetBlue Attendant Who Jumped Ship is Symptom of Angry Workplace  

NEW YORK (Aug. 11) -- "Prosecutors say the JetBlue flight attendant flipped out over a fight with an agitated traveler Monday, cursing over the intercom before grabbing some beer from the plane's galley and making a grand exit down the emergency slide at Kennedy Airport. He has been charged with felonies but elevated to folk-hero status by thousands who shrugged off allegations that Slater endangered others and praised him for his take-this-job-and-shove-it moment."  - Associated Press

The flight attendant who lost his cool and likely his job and his freedom (he faces up to 7 years in prison) is becoming a folk hero to frustrated workers who suffer the stresses of dealing with difficult people from customers to bosses and co-workers in the today's  work environment. That's an understandable response but one that represents a real danger as stressed and angry workers in similar situations may be inspired to react in negative ways at critical moments.

Airline attendants are not the only ones who can identify with a rapidly escalating personality clash that triggers such a flight or fight response. Teachers, nurses, customer service reps, technicians, and sales professionals all have horror stories to share of those moments when a conflict escalated to a near meltdown.

The key to avoiding making headlines in ways that irreparably damage the employee and the organization s/he represents lies in how prepared you and your people are to handle those moments before they happen.

Here are a few techniques that can make all the difference:

Aim to understand

o      Understanding another's challenges breeds patience

o      Understanding differences informs our responses (cultural, generational, etc)

o      Understanding our own response patterns allows for self-control

o      Perception is truly reality. Perception is a result of the intersection of a new event, old beliefs and an evaluation of whether or not the experience moves us in the direction of our goals. It is subjective and affected by chosen responses.

Anticipate problems

o      Being blindsided by situations is often the result of a failure of imagination. We can only be prepared for what we can imagine

o      Take into account the "game-changers" that worsen situations (physical discomfort, delays, shortages of supplies, etc) and have ready responses

o      Give "power to the people" who deal with customers to be flexible and creative in meeting needs and defusing conflicts

o      Become skillful at reading non-verbal cues that are warning signs (like expressions and posture that communicates tension, anger, and fear)

Change the filters

o      Crises typically occur when both parties are dealing with unusual secondary factors, e.g. fatigue, family concerns, health or financial issues

o      Create a narrative that could explain and humanize the person at the center of the conflict. Empathy breeds patience.

o      Make your own healthy balance a priority: rest, nutrition, exercise, stress levels, etc.

Break the physical cycle of conflict

o      The airline attendant who literally jumped ship was not experiencing an emotion so much as a physical experience called "fight or flight". Another response might have averted the dramatic and self-destructive behavior

o      The physical cycle of conflict can be broken in several ways including breathing exercises, facial expression and voice tone

Use humor

o      A sense of humor is a powerful coping tool. It allows us to choose amusement over anger and to play with our pain

o      Humor used skillfully and respectfully can defuse conflict by allowing the other person to exit a tense situation while still saving face

o      Seeing the absurdity in a situation forces a longer view that sees beyond the present conflict to the shared experience of laughter that will result when you are with those who can relate. Such a perspective allows the individual to retain control.

Train, train, train

o      Anticipating, understanding and reacting appropriately in an emotionally charged moment is only possible when it is second nature. That takes training that includes role-playing, imagination, and intentionality. When the pressure is on, we drop to mental "bookmarks". Only training can ensure that those responses are correct.

About the author:

Dave Caperton is a speaker, humorist and the author of Happiness Is a Funny Thing, which presents joy as the result of choices we make in each moment. He has presented keynotes and training on stress management, personal perception, customer service and the power of humor for hundreds of organizations including the Federal Aviation Administration, The National Association for Healthcare Quality, Boeing Aerospace SHRM and the IRS. For more information about topics or to book a speaking engagement, call (740) JOY-FULY or visit www.davecaperton.com .

A Great Event with a Professional Speaker 

Can Keep Your Crew on an Even Keel

By Dave Caperton

In the last year or so your organization has probably encountered some rough sailing on these stormy economic seas. The crisis has been hard on almost everyone, but it has been particularly tough on professional meeting planners and keynote speakers. As organizations strain to squeeze every dollar to keep from sinking or setting their people adrift through massive layoffs, special events have become the luxury that fewer and fewer feel they can afford. The result has been meeting planners with no meetings to plan and speakers with no one to talk to. Ironically, right about now many motivational speakers I know could use a pep talk.

When the first thing to be slashed from the budget is an expensive conference or function with a professional speaker, it raises the question of the value of such things in the first place. Maybe that event is really just a waste of resources even in the best of times. While it is true that there are periods when we all have to cut back on all but the most necessary costs, there will be some who will conclude that surviving tough times without the annual banquet is evidence of the non-essential nature of pricey events and big-ticket talkers at any time.

In times of crisis, people have an amazing capacity to adjust to new realities and maybe your people have carried on with no apparent permanent damage from skipping the yearly all-staff hoop-de-do, but that doesn't mean that such events aren't worthwhile and perhaps even critically important to your organization's long-term success. An organization in crisis is like a ship in a hurricane; when extreme conditions arose, the order for all-hands-on-deck did not allow for whining about the break from their routine, the skipped meals or the balance of work and rest. Such a crisis brought people together under a common purpose and made it necessary to temporarily ignore standard operating procedures.

Most everyone understands that extraordinary measures are sometimes called for, but after the storm some skippers will erroneously conclude that--whether the seas are rough or calm--their crew should be able to carry on without the perks just as they proved they could in the crisis. They may soon learn that it simply is not the case. We can do without some of the bonuses of work when we are all bailing and trying to keep the ship afloat, but when the typhoon passes, the crew again needs not only regular meals and sleep, but a plan to keep up morale. In fact, they need it more and quickly simply because they've been depleted through the crisis.

The best time to invest in your people with an event that sends the message that you appreciate them and that you're concerned about their well-being is now. Don't be tempted to cut out the extras. The recognition and restoration provided by a well-planned event and the well-chosen words of a great speaker can be priceless. What you're doing is replenishing your supplies and shoring up the ship to continue the voyage.